Author Topic: Wife with Bi polar - run up debts in my name  (Read 2734 times)

pedroski

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Wife with Bi polar - run up debts in my name
« on: Nov 02, 2010, 04:41:12 PM »
As the subject says, my wife of 18 years has Bi Polar depression, and one of the symptoms is buying stuff online without the means or method of paying for it.
Up till about 2 months ago, it was manageable, where she would go through the housekeeping money like water down a drain, and we would have an argument and she would say sorry, it won't happen again.


Last week I found out by accident (going through the recycling bin to check the right stuff was going in), that a number of credit accounts had been set up in my name with various catalogue companies, a line of credit totalling about £5000. Most of which were clothing for the kids, but there were PS3 games consoles (£700), 2 Ipods (£200 each), and pairs of timberland boots (£100). That's not all.
I also discovered a loan had been taken out (also in my name) with one of these payday loan companies charging over 2000%. She had borrowed £400 from a co called quickquid. It was never paid back and now the debt is £610. this is within the last 2 weeks.


The worst thing is my wife had been lying to me for months and still was in a state of denial (she had convinced herself), and finally broke down when confronted with the evidence.


Has anyone else had this problem and how to deal with it.


Many thanks in advance for your help

James Falla

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Re: Wife with Bi polar - run up debts in my name
« Reply #1 on: Nov 03, 2010, 04:04:40 PM »
Hello Pedroski
 
Sorry to hear about your situation. I do not have experience of somone with bi-polar running up debts, but I have come accross other similar situations where people have taken on debts without their partners being aware.
 
In terms of the Bi-Polar have you spoken to any specific support groups for people or family members with these kind of problems?
 
Regarding the debt that your wife has incurred, unfortunately if it has been taken out in your name, you will be held responsible for repaying it. If you think you will struggle to do this my suggestion would be to first contact the creditors involved to explain the situation and find out if they can help at all. 
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pedroski

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Re: Wife with Bi polar - run up debts in my name
« Reply #2 on: Nov 04, 2010, 11:25:35 AM »
Thanks for the reply James. What were the solutions re the debts where the partners weren't aware of the others debt? Also, were these people running up debt accounts in their partners name?


With the Bi-polar, we are actively seeking support through the family doctor and independent groups that can help.


Re the debt my wife has incurred with various catalogue companies, the big ones are in a buy now pay later situation, so I can deal with them when the time comes next year, giving me some breathing space.
As far as the payday loan is concerned, I personally feel this type of business is unethical and should be outlawed, as a lot of the companies involved in this trade are outside of the UK. No record of this account is recorded in my credit file, and I will be resistant in settling this account. These companies prey on the vunerable and makes the problem worse in my view. And more astonishing is the fact that very few checks are carried out to ascertain the identity of the applicant. In my opinion, it's too easy.


Just a note to end with, this was the final straw for me, and if it wasn't for our three children, this would have been the end of our marriage.


It's all made worse by the fact that 5 years ago we had our house repossessed, and since then I had worked hard to rebuild my credit rating and had got it to a stage where the repo had been removed from the credit file and we were in a position to buy another house withing the next 2 years. The last 2 - 3 months activity by my wife has now set us back years, as now my credit rating has been dropped from good to poor.


Sorry for going on and thanks for reading.



James Falla

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Re: Wife with Bi polar - run up debts in my name
« Reply #3 on: Nov 04, 2010, 04:24:58 PM »
Hi pedroski
 
It sounds like you have been through a very rough time. Generally speaking when dealing with a debt problem, there are really only a small number of solutions available. These include consolidation, debt management, IVA and bankruptcy. There is more info about these here: http://www.beatmydebt.com/consumer_debt_solutions.htm
 
Whether these are suitable or not will really depend on personal circumstances. The situations I have been involved with in the past where people have run up debt without their partner knowing were all generally resolved with by the partner being in a position to help or using one of the above solutions. However, the first and often hardest step has always been for both partners to talk and find the right solution together.
 
You are right, the situation where one partner takes debt in the other's name is unusual. The above applies but it does not make coming to terms with the situation any easier.
 
I agree with your comments about pay day loan companies particularly in the area of giving out money far too easily. I know it is a slightly different situation in your case, but I always warn people to think very careful before taking out a pay day or door step loan. In most cases the interest and late payment charges can be very high.
 
In terms of your situation here, I understand your reluctance to want to settle the payday account as you feel so aggrieved. You should certainly complain to the company. However, if the debt is c£600 this could quickly escalate if payments are not made on time. As such, making the payment if you can could be the bitter but most sensible option.
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solvemybadcredit

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Re: Wife with Bi polar - run up debts in my name
« Reply #4 on: Nov 11, 2010, 10:02:12 PM »
I am really sorry to hear about that!
Unfortunately some of these products are actually killing your credit rating, therefore it will be hard to negotiate a consolidation loan for you with a reasonable APR.
You have to check how much your credit rating has been damaged first. You said it has gone to POOR.
Then sit down with your wife to have a chat about finances, try and get something sorted.
Assess all your credit and the interest rate, try and eliminate them one by one using a spreadsheet or get some help from debt counseling agencies.
Set up a budget
Consolidate
And rebuild your credit rating.
There is actually a 14 step blueprint on my blog that you might find useful.

Good luck.

Let us all know.
Laura
I help people sort out bad debt.
http://www.solvem

pedroski

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Re: Wife with Bi polar - run up debts in my name
« Reply #5 on: Nov 12, 2010, 05:07:50 PM »
Thanks for your replies.


I have another question.


How receptive are catalogue companies to changing the account name to the person who actually set it up?


ie. I want to put all her debts in her name so we can set up a DRO and repair my credit file. Is this even viable?


Many Thanks


Pete

solvemybadcredit

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Re: Wife with Bi polar - run up debts in my name
« Reply #6 on: Nov 12, 2010, 09:39:29 PM »
If it is a catalogue, it might be fairly easy, however depends on the company. You have to get your credit file amended, as Experian usually only updates every few weeks, sometimes 8. Although if it was not your wife you could go down the fraud route, but you don't want to take her to court, do you?
I would get in touch with them immediately,
if they are not supportive would write in
if still not supportive ask for a manager
if still not, get an attorney.
Once your names are off the accounts you have to get your Experian updated.

If it is too mugh hassle, you can get a solicitor or Debt management company to get it sorted for you, still.
I help people sort out bad debt.
http://www.solvem

James Falla

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Re: Wife with Bi polar - run up debts in my name
« Reply #7 on: Nov 17, 2010, 05:37:31 PM »
Hi there Pete
 
My feeling is it will be extremely difficult to get the catalogue companies (or any other creditor) to change the name of the account holder. The problem is that they are losing their security. Even if they did agree to consider the change (which I feel is unlikely), they would first have to credit check the new person. Do you think your wife's credit rating would stand up to this? If so it is worth a shot but I would am not very hopeful about the outcome.
 
As solvemybadcredit says, you could argue that the accounts were opened fraudulently. However, this could lead the company to start and investigation which may lead back to your wife and them subsequently taking action against her which I guess you want to avoid.
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