Author Topic: Girlfriend Debt  (Read 1544 times)

no-one

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Girlfriend Debt
« on: Sep 07, 2010, 11:15:24 PM »
I just found out my girlfriend has build up £30,000 debts. I don't know what it has gone on, there is nothing to show for it.

I am completely shell shocked. I can't talk to her about it yet - I'm still too shocked.

To make it worse she doesn't believe it's a problem. She intends to get a further £10,000 in debt to buy a car.

I've been paying all the bills for the last 8 years because I knew (thought I knew) that she had a couple of thousand in debts and a student loan.

Just paying her share of the rent has cost me over £18,000 but she does not and will not see how her debt affects me.

I don't know how to get though to her. I know the answer should probably be kick her out and never look back but life is not that simple.

Any advice or support would be most welcome. I'm so depressed about this.

Thanks[/size]

debt-buster

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Re: Girlfriend Debt
« Reply #1 on: Sep 08, 2010, 10:56:17 AM »
HI No-one,
 
you've taken the right action by addressing the issue, there are a number of users who can help you on the forum, as for myself I just wanted to say if she lives in the London Borugh of Lambeth then she can use a free service offering help and assistance to Lambeth residents with debts and you or her are very welcome to [** sorry, no personal contact invitations allowed **]. In any case, you not be depressed as you have acted correctly in trying to understand and resolve this matter  :) 

Steven Jackson

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Re: Girlfriend Debt
« Reply #2 on: Sep 08, 2010, 11:55:36 AM »
Hi there no-one
 
It is always a massive shock to find that your partner has got debts that you were not aware of. The best way to tackle it is to avoid a knee jerk reaction. Give it a few days and pick the right time to sit down with your girlfriend and chat things through with her.
 
If you have been paying all of the household bills but feel that this is no longer reasonable, then you need  explain that you can not afford to keep things going and she will have to contribute. If she can not afford to do this without addressing her debts then you and she should get advice about this.
 
If she is unwilling to change then unfortunately you have some thinking to do about how you want to play things from there.
Debt Expert
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akihira29

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Re: Girlfriend Debt
« Reply #3 on: Sep 30, 2010, 03:19:04 AM »
  • I think your girlfriend doesn't love and respect you. Knowwhy, because if she does, she will not owe more money just to buy anything. Ifshe loves you, she will not owe a debt and if she did, she is the one to payfor it not you!
     

  • Re: Girlfriend Debt
    « Reply #4 on: Oct 07, 2010, 10:22:51 AM »
    Hi no-on

    Speaking from personal experience I know you are in a difficult situation. The best way I feel to handle this is to sit down with your partner and draw up a joint financial statement. Inome/ expences and debts. Once she see's the figures on paper this should bring over a new realisation as I see it so often. knowing the figures in you head and seeing them on paper are significanly different, its important for you both to be honest and to try not to judge each other. Then jointly agree a way forward.
    Take care Gareth
    South West Debt Solutions.
    www.CreditSolutionsSout

    Steven Jackson

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    Re: Girlfriend Debt
    « Reply #5 on: Oct 08, 2010, 08:56:57 AM »
    Hi there No-one. How have you been getting on with your girlfriend? Have you spoken to her yet? The advice given by  last poster is definietely sound. Sitting down and putting everything on paper is always a good idea and the first step to resolving a debt problem. However I do recognise that this will be extremely difficult to achieve if your girlfriend does not believe it is a problem.
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